Can you please critique my story, please?

You've written an intriguing beginning. I'm trusting that you have made more thorough explanations for Annabella's situation in future chapters. I understand that her mother died, but why is she running away? Where does she intend to go? Why isn't anyone looking for her? Etc. My major criticism is with your format: you need to make multiple paragraphs of what you've written; dialogue always requires separate paragraphs for each speaker. I do realize that the dialogue at the start is actually occurring only in Annabella's imagination, but I do think that it still requires its own paragraph. If that is your entire first chapter, I suggest that you combine chapters since it is rather too short. I would be interested in reading more of your story as I am wondering where you mean to take it. My advice is that you continue to write what will be a first draft, then correct and polish it after you've finished. Have someone you know who is qualified and who will be objective critique your story when it is completed -- if you know someone who would be able to do so. Anyway, good luck with your writing!